Big Plans

1 More Month and Uni starts. I'm supposed to be excited right? Well.... Not quite.... Maybe thats why my frens all sign up for the orientation camps - to get excited and to meet new frens who will make the next 4 yrs exciting for one another. And me? I don't know. I'll just stand by and watch.
Recently I've been thinking about my future. For those who know me, this is kinda hard to imagine simply because I'm the happy-go-lucky type who lives for the present. The furthest future I thought about is probably the next day. 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?? Nah, dun think too much.
This is why some girls I know say I have no "An Quan Gan" ie No Sense of Security. Probably cos I'm too small size. Prob cos I dun plan enough. Prob cos I laugh too much and take nothing seriously. I dun know, u tell me.
So anyway I was thinking about my future. What do I want? Who do I want to be in future? The worst thing is, despite all the thinking, I still can't grasp anything. I try to see my future, all i see is darkness - nothing. But I firmly believe that we have only 1 life, so must live it to the fullest. So must dare to try. Try anything. I'll die trying than die with nothing.
So hence, now I must go and plan. Plan my future... Plan what I want...
Realised that my past few entries have been uncharacteristically serious... No crap.... Will try to improve on that... this few weeks really very tired. No mood to crap also.
We'll see...